Monday, July 11, 2011

This is all what is left after 3 years

Sedih hati melihat:

1) Perpecahan org Melayu hari ni, apa punca? mengapa? dan kenapa? Betol ke org Melayu malas? tepuk dada tanyalah diri sendiri

2) Baki akaun bank yg semakin susut...perlu mencari kerja secepat mungkin, kalau x, Sarah nk mkn ape nnti

3) En.somi yg stress dan risau pikir pendapatan keluarga yg menjunam ke kosong akhir bulan nnti

4) Ramadhan semakin menghampiri, mungkin smbut raya ala kadar saje

Ujian maha berat, kita rasa kita da cukup susah, tp ramai lg org kt luar sana yg lg ssh dr kita, ntah makan ntah belum, dpt makan pon syukur alhamdulillah...mungkin kita terlalu selesa atau xpernah rasa hidup ssh...hidup mesti terus, tabahlah wahai hati...

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

My breaking point

I thought that I'm strong enough to face all this but then I realize I'm not. I think for few times before I decided to jot everything down here. Yeap...people may attack me on my weaknesses but I believe so not everybody is perfect. I, now at the edge of a cliff and at the edge of my breaking point. I think that I just wanna jump off the cliff and never have to face this. It was hard. A very hard time indeed for my family. I feel so sad and broken heart.

First, both of us have to resign in order to complete the stupid document for TPM so that our names can be forwarded to MOHE (and basically we're jobless and money-less at the end of this month).

Secondly, we didn't have any savings at all....and how are we going to survive if let say they didn't allow us to further our study?

Nobody cares about us, what happened to us, what's going on with our study. Beruntunglah sape2 yg ada org sggup fightkan, pegi biasiswa utk pegi belajar. Kami? I suddenly think that, buat ape la aku susah2 pikir hal org, org xpenah pikir ssh senang kita, bila kita senang ada la menumpang, bila kita susah, kita dan keluarga kita j yg duk bwh jambatan...I can imagine, me, hubby and Sarah live under the bridge. Who knows...somebody has cursed me before just for a simple mistake that I've done.

And then, I got the news when the place that I dream of working since my undergrad life hired somebody else. I felt betrayed. But I didn't hold any grudge or bad feelings inside. It's all have been stated in our qada and qadar dan rezeki masing2. Seriously, I don't feel a thing rite now. Nak menangis pon xdak air mata dah pon. Tapi rasa sakit tu masih ada. I hereby declared, I've forgiven everybody and keep myself strong. Hopefully I will be strong now and forever. Ameen.