Haters will hate.

Sometimes I forgot that there are a group of people who like to see us fall, who are ready to see us fail. I don't understand and get this kind of people. What do they get when they have so much hatred in their hearts. I am just being me. I don't have any hidden agendas, any intention to make others fall or bad. It's not me. I just do what I like and if you hate me that much, so be it. It's your loss not me. I will help as much as I can without considering who you are. When I'm sad, I listen to this song cause I found it's lyrics was so beautifully written. KUN ANTA = BE YOURSELF.

In order to keep up with them

I imitated their looks and exterior

So I became someone else just to boast

And I thought that through that I gained a fortune

But I found that I'd lost, for these are mere appearances

No no

We don't need wealth in order to increase in beauty

Our essence is here, in our hearts it shines

No no

We will not seek to please others with that which we deem unbefitting for ourselves

That is our beauty, rising and ascending above

Oh wo oh... Oh wo oooh...

Oh wo oh... Oh wo oooh...

Oh wo oh... Oh wo oooh...

Be yourself and you will increase in beauty

Oh wo oh... Oh wo oooh...

Oh wo oh... Oh wo oooh...

Oh wo oh... Oh wo oooh...

Be yourself and you will increase in beauty

La la la la la la la la

I accept people but I don't imitate them

Except for what I agree with, to satify myself

I will just be myself, just the way I am, this is me

My conviction suffices, this is my certainty

No no

We don't need wealth in order to increase in beauty

Our essence is here, in our hearts it shines

No no

We will not seek to please others with that which we deem unbefitting for ourselves

That is our beauty, rising and ascending above

Oh wo oh... Oh wo oooh...

Oh wo oh... Oh wo oooh...

Oh wo oh... Oh wo oooh...

Be yourself and you will increase in beauty

Oh wo oh... Oh wo oooh...

Oh wo oh... Oh wo oooh...

Oh wo oh... Oh wo oooh...

I'll be what I please to be

I won't seek their acceptance

I'll be whom I love to be

Why would I care about their acceptance

I'll be what I please to be

I won't seek their acceptance

I'll be whom I love to be

Why would I care about their acceptance

No no

We don't need wealth in order to increase in beauty

Our essence is here, in our hearts it shines

No no

We will not seek to please others with that which we deem unbefitting for ourselves

That is our beauty, rising and ascending above

Oh wo oh... Oh wo oooh...

Oh wo oh... Oh wo oooh...

Oh wo oh... Oh wo oooh...

Be yourself and you will increase in beauty

Oh wo oh... Oh wo oooh...

Oh wo oh... Oh wo oooh...

Oh wo oh... Oh wo oooh...

Be yourself and you will increase in beauty

I BE WHAT I PLEASE TO BE, I WON'T THEIR ACCEPTANCE! That's it. I won't let them to bother me and ruin my life. I choose to be happy in my own way.

Am I depressed? I don't know...

But lately I just feel tired

I'm tired of everything

I just want to lay down in bed for hours and hours

I didn't want to do anything

I feel so sad

I can cry without any valid reason

And I'm tired

Nothing to look forward to...

No one knows my sorrow

and my sadness

I think I am burned out already

I almost puke seeing all the logbooks that I have to mark

I don't know what am I going after

It's just so blank and empty

My heart feel so numb

Everyday it's just a battle for me to finish a day

It's your obligation to take care of your health.

Tu dia, panjangnya tajuk. Well, there's reason why the tajuk is like that. Last Thursday, after few episodes of throbbing headache I've decided to go to clinic (I'm very the liat one to go to clinic ya know), and to my surprise my bp that day is 150/110, OMG...that's quite high. The last time I got this reading is when I was pregnant with Syahmi but then, after few session of drinking lemon the headache went away. But this time, after all the things I've consumed the headache keeps coming back...Sakit apa xtau...Tapi memang batuk dan demam sikit.

So, when the doctor said she wanted to start me with hypertension medications, I REFUSED. I would rather take care of my lifestyle and change my eating habit. Sebenornye agak x puas hati la dengan doktor dengan single reading je diagnose i HPT k...pastu suruh i terima hakikat, what the fish!

Starting that day onwards, I gave up on nescafe tin which I think the culprit for my headache, I gave up on nasi lemak and I even bought a bicycle kunun-kunun nak cycle petang2 for 30 minutes, tapi....keadaan cuaca sekarang tidaklah mengizinkan. And I also take things easily (doesn't mean I don't bother or care) but I'm not easily get mad or stress about it. Nak marah students pon dah slow down dah sikit sekarang.

Why I'm doing all this? It's because I love my children and I want to take care of my health so that I can beribadat, sempat bertaubat dan jaga kesihatan tu kewajipan kita. Kalau badan kita rosak or kita sakit, kerja kita x akan jaga kita masa kita sakit so buat apa la nk stress2 sgt kan...keep calm je...tang students tu I assist la and tolong and ajar mana2 patut and the rest is up to them sebab dorg yg blaja so watpe I nak stress2 sbb dorang.

Okaylah, agak panjang coretan hari ini. And I've started with overnight oats breakfast! Suka! sebab sedap dan mengenyangkan :)

Keep Calm & Stay Quiet

Lepas ni nak duk diam-diamlah.
Banyak cakap pon bukan org paham kesengsaraan kita.
Duk diam-diam and buat keje kita sudahlah.
Orang memang akan judge kita ikut suka hati dia.
In fact xde orang pon yg perfect ats dunia ni.
Saya cuma akan buat yg terbaik dan termampu sy boleh buat.
Nak kata apa pon katalah.
I just suppress and ignore.
Just be humble.
No need to boast around.
Be simple.
Adios!

Take Things Positively

Take complains as a good thing.
Don't think that people wanna hijack you.
But if that's their intention so let them be.
They will answer to God in the Hereafter.
For the time being, just keep calm and carry on.

Footnote: I seriously miss my days in London. Why oh why can I just be there.

Frust

I'm at the lowest point of my life right now. I have a lot of things to do and a grant submission due on this coming Thursday but my body seems doesn't want to work with me. I've been sick since last week and things getting worse when I got flu this week. I couldn't even read any articles/journals as it makes me sick and wan to throw up.

Sakit itu penghapus dosa...Allah, sembuhkanlah hamba-Mu ini... :'(

Tak paham

Salam,

Kadang-kadang x paham dengan sikap manusia ni. Kita x buat apa pon tapi dilayan sedingin ais ketul. Cakap pon macam cakap dengan dinding. But being me I don't care much less. As long as masing-masing happy dan saya x kacau orang sudeh. Nak kata terasa tu ada la sikit2 bila syaiton membisikkan kata-kata untuk kita bersedih. Take things positively. Biaq pi la org nak kata apa pon dan buat apa pon. Esok2 kita sama-sama kena judge by Allah bukan manusia. Dan ingatlah, jangan bersedih jika manusia memalingkan muka darimu atau tidak membantumu, bersedihlah bila Allah tak nak pandang muka kita pon nanti, tu yg lagha memanjang...Bergantung haraplah pada Allah dan Allah akan menghulurkan bantuan-Nya. Love all, hate none. Tolong seikhlas mungkin semua orang walaupun org yg kita tlg tu mungkin yang paling ungrateful atau akan tikam kita dari belakang. Kata-kata dari Yasmin Mogahed tentang life lesson:

"Life lesson:
When you help someone, make sure it's 100% for the sake of Allah. To instill this lesson, sometimes those you've helped most, become the most ungrateful and even stab you in the back."

P/s: Sapa kata nak dapatkan syurga itu mudahkan? Peace no war ;)

Layan 2 ketul ni lagi bagus. Asyik nyepah & tido lambat jer. 

Acaner papa mami nk perform hah anak-anak, hehehehe